Help me, I’m a writer

Help me I’m a writer

When I say work I only mean writing. Everything else is just odd jobs.’ – Margaret Laurence

It’s certainly been a strange journey for me up to this point. What started out as a simple quest to write and publish a book has opened up into a whole galaxy of other opportunities. You have to bear in mind that I’ve not come out of school, college or university with a fancy writing degree. I’ve been blessed, or even cursed in another way of looking at it, that I’ am so much better at writing what I would like to say rather than speaking. So much so, one of my biggest fears about becoming an established author is that I might have to practice public speaking. So I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be sitting here calling myself an actual writer.

The journey towards my first book still continues, having hit a very rocky road at present times. I find myself distracted, not necessarily by things not to do with writing, but instead by other projects and writing jobs. So those awaiting my first novel please don’t fear, I have set my sights on at least one publication by end of October this year, with a whole heap of written goodness to get the excitement boiling nearer the date. In the mean time, enjoy my personal list of ‘You know you’re a writer when…’

  • You stare at walls more than the average person

Yes, that’s right, when you find yourself staring at a blank wall longer than you would a television set. If anyone believes a writer simply takes out his or her laptop/pen and it all just comes out naturally, they are certainly wrong. There have been times when thinking up a half decent paragraph has ended up in me having to ‘Google’ how to spell the word ‘And’. The brain just turns to fuzz, this would of course be a good time to flip down that laptop screen and call it a day, but as writers we persevere, probably knowing that during the editing stage we will be in a good need of a laugh.

  • Everything is writing material

Friends beware, anything you do or say may or may not be used in a story. You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your given character if you fail to answer any questions later relied on in the novel. Life isn’t life any more, its one big story that is there for the taking. From the two old ladies yapping on the bus ride home to the smell in the air on a cold winters day, everything will be seen by you as inspiration. I find the trouble mostly in never having ‘writing equipment’ handy when you need it most.

  • Nobody understands you

Writing is a fantastic outlet for problems and emotions. What may be a lovely story, insightful blog post or a brilliantly written poem for most people. To you, it is so much more, it’s a little piece of you in every single word that you feel nobody will truly understand. You can write stories that take you away from the realities of the shit life you live, write stories that contain secrets about yourself that nobody knows. The possibility’s in writing are endless, it’s an art-form and we should be proud.

  • Grammar police

You definitely know you’re a writer when you notice grammatical mistakes before anyone else. You will learn the art of ‘tusk tusk’ to a tee when leaning over someone’s messy note. Even though if it wasn’t for spell check, we would all write like school children. We all have those couple of words that time and time again you always spell it wrong, for me they are either, which I always spell ethier and there’s definitely, that I always spell defenetly. Put me in cuffs and drag me away.

  • You never look quirky enough

Yes, finally its the ‘writers look’, feeling like you want to be seen as different but not seen at all. You may find you go out wearing a jumper that is torn to shreds, is too big for you and smells. But this is okay if you’re wearing a fetching pair of spectacles because you look how Johnny Depp did in ‘The Secret Window’. Yes, you will don a pair of slippers to your local store, but you don’t care because you haven’t dressed in days and the fact you’re wearing trousers should be more than enough for ‘society’. You may also find that when moving home, or even dreaming up your dream home, you will always design your writing space first.

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