Why You Should Never Google Yourself

google search title

Why you should never Google yourself.

It’s not big, it’s not clever and it’s certainly not amusing.
Okay, okay, so I ‘Googled’ myself. More in accident than purpose. See, after re-designing the website I started wondering, firstly why does the time on my laptop say two thirty in the morning, secondly was there any point in sleeping when I need to be up anyway in a few measly hours, and lastly; I was very tired and pleased with the work I’d just completed. Where does my website, if not my name, rank in Google when typed in.
I made three discoveries that evening, and I’m certainly not grateful to my wondering vanity for putting me in the position I now find myself in.
My first discovery. The image section.
I can categorically say (From my own perspective of course) I would almost definitely win a ‘Jim Murdoch Beauty pageant’. It seems there are a few; I use a few lightly, fellow name bearers who are boss eyed. Now I have nothing against anyone who has to keep moving their head to show the conversation sharer they are in fact looking at them and not the ceiling, but I think we can agree nobody would choose to look this way. But that my friends is as good as it got. You see, I was not in the image section, or the next one, or the next. There was however, Sheldon Cooper from ‘The Big Bang Theory’, there were three pictures of dogs and Alice in Wonderland. If Johnny Depp didn’t feel like he was everywhere in my life already, he certainly does now, as he too shows up under my name. There were not one, but five formula one cars, a busty blonde woman, Mr Burns and Cletus from The Simpsons and lastly a picture of some shells.
My second discovery. The name sharers.
Now, I already knew I shared the same name as the son of the infamous Rupert Murdoch; a problem that came up when wanting to name my first son, it seems Rupert Murdoch was too much of a risk to name any of my children. I also had an idea that there would be quite a few people around the world that also share my name. What I wasn’t prepared for was just how un-famous and unimportant I was in comparison to the rest of my name sharers. Aside from the famous billionaire there was Professor Jim Murdoch, professor in public law at Glasgow university, A professor Jim Murdoch in Economics at Texas University and a whole host more with jobs such as; Poets, Musicians, Lawyers, Well-known Actors and to top it all a bloody Naval Admiral. Did it make me feel inferior, yes. Did it make me look at my own life and wonder if I am in fact the lowest of the low in the Jim Murdoch category, yes, yes it really did.
My Third and final discovery. My Doppelgänger.
For those who don’t understand the meaning of a doppelgänger, it is German for a double goer, a lookalike or double of a living person who is sometimes portrayed as a harbinger of bad luck. Now, although my doppelgänger actually looks nothing like me, he is the very person I am currently living to be. His name is also Jim Murdoch, he also hails a beard, he also writes. Nothing too bad, until you find out he is an established Author, about thirty years my senior and sports one of the biggest beards I have ever seen. This man is me, in thirty years time. My problem now is that if I wish to pursue a career in writing I now have to seriously think about changing my name ( I can hear my mother calling out my birth name “James” in my head this very second. ) , damn you Jim Murdoch, damn you and your beautiful beard.
And so concludes readers, there is nothing good that can come out of ‘Googling’ your name.
jmurdochau

Credit to Jim Murdoch’s, we clearly know how to grow a proper beard.

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